Thank you for this! Last year at this time, my ex and I were at the end of our life as a married couple. Our divorce was finalized on our son's birthday in December. He continued to live in my house (I had to buy him out and basically double my mortgage) until I paid him over 60k. 😔 Last Christmas, he was still in our home in the basement. I felt like a hostage. We were divorced and yet I would hear him come in all hours through the basement door...one night in early January, he had a fire burning in my yard, left it there, and the yard caught fire. I had to go out at 930p in my pajamas with a water hose to put it out. It was awful. He finally moved in late January to another city 2 hours away. Every month, our life has improved. I have been looking forward to celebrating with my son on our own this year...Thanksgiving, Birthday, and Christmas. It's a process, and I fall apart sometimes. I wish he would have cared enough about us to stop using and get well. I quickly snap back to reality though that life was traumatic for my son and I for many years, and a sober man wouldn't have fixed all the abuse we endured. My prayers are simple: to everyone reading this that is still in the throws of loving an addict...you will be okay if you leave. Do what's best for you and your children. If you need to wait, do what you need to. Protect your babies. Protect yourself. Love yourself enough to say no more. It's challenging, but the other side of the tunnel is bright and beautiful!!
I've been married to an alcoholic for 17 years. I'm realizing I need to take care of myself. I have taken care of him and his kids (my step kids that I love very much) and mine felt on the back burner. They are all adults now. I have a huge co-dependency issue. Memories of trauma have been flooding my brain lately. He drinks every single day. He e doesn't get wasted as much like he use to but I'm so sick of smelling it. When he goes to church with me, I smell it. I think, "At least he is at church." I do ask myself, "Is he ever going to change and if he does, will he be a nice sober guy?" He is so talkative when he has had a few. Very quiet and just scroll's on his phone when sober.
One year ago I began listening to your podcast “Love Over Addiction” and it gave me the strength to finally tell my alcoholic ex bf to leave our home, after a 6 1/2 year roller coaster ride. This past year has had many rough patches, but also a lot of healing. I recently let him back into my life, to help him with a warrant (for being drunk in public & not attending the hearing), and quickly realized I had made a huge mistake & asked him to leave again. I noticed from my growth that I was able to see him more clearly and I feel I now have the strength to no longer fall for his manipulation tactics. So…thank you Michelle Anderson for your wonderful & encouraging words of wisdom. You have literally saved me from a life of ongoing confusion & despair.
I am looking forward to hearing from you when you get things figured out for LOA. I have missed you and the way you could always empower me and make me feel strong enough to stand up against this powerful and baffling desease.
Thank you Michelle! Your words and wisdom have inspired me to be in control of my own happiness! Last year was extremely sad and I’m hanging on hoping this year will be better! He’s been clean since maybe September. Not really sure but I know the demon too well so I know when he’s present. I have my plan B in case things go bad! Prayers & Blessings to you and your children. Please pray the demon stays away!
Hello Michelle!! I was just thinking of you today and thought I would let you know that I hope you are doing well. I recently looked to see if there were any new podcasts posted and since I didn’t see any I thought I would reach out through here. Cant wait to see what new ‘program’ or group you are planning. No pressure but wanted to know many of us think of you often!
Thank you for thinking of me. 💕 I’m working hard every day. Rebuilding and planning something that will (hopefully) be a safe community with lots of helpful answers. A little different than Substack and the Podcast. I’ll definitely let you all know. Can’t wait to connect with everyone again. Miss you all.
Hello Michelle - I have tried several times to respond to your individual message, however, for some reason Substack isn’t letting it go through. I would like to send you my email address if you can tell me how to get that sent to you privately. Thanks!
2024 will be the first holidays being single, ever! The divorce will be final on December 9th. Ironically just 9 days from what would have been our 15 year anniversary. I’ve went no contact otherwise my HF ExAH will do everything & anything within his power to manipulate his way back. I’m going to continue to choose to focus on being grateful for the wonderful blessings in my life instead of dwelling on the past. I deserve this healing journey after putting it off for so long. It’s finally time for me! It won’t always be easy, but absolutely necessary.
Thank you so much Michele for giving us a safe place to turn for hope! I pray you and your family have a wonderful Thanksgiving and Christmas/Holidays! Looking forward to seeing the next encouraging article or podcast. Any pointers for me would be appreciated because my desire is to also help other women be empowered and encouraged through my experiences one day whether it be on social media or writing. ❤️
I am soo happy for you April - it’s your time now - YES!! 💯 I’ll have some opportunities for women to help others coming up in 2025. You can email me at michelle@loveoveraddiction.com and I’ll make sure to reach out. 🥰
Ah the holidays, the dreaded holidays. I just brought my AH home from the hospital again ( he missed thanksgiving, again) with pancreatitis, and what does he do. Yup starts sneaking drinks again. I don't know why I don't leave, probably guilt. I am greatful that I found Michelle years ago it has really helped me to stay sain. Thank you to all the women who share their stories of hope and those who can relate to my situation. I'm really hopeful that 2025 is my year.
You are a blessing to all the woman who suffer from living with an addict. It’s a lonely battle that makes us feel like we are stupid for staying with this person. So many friends/family don’t understand why we don’t leave but yet offer no help! Leaving means giving up your home and for me major financial impact. I can’t even afford an apartment in today’s world. If there were an easy road out we all would have taken it! Bless you all my friends for sharing your stories and I hope each and every one of you find some joy in this holiday season! I wish you all happiness that you so deserve. 🙏
I sit here as another holiday screams disappointment again..After 5 mos of sobriety, and a small glimmer of hope for a future, the tidal wave washed over again and knocked him down hard. Drinking again. Behavior changed. And I left. I think for the first time ever, he was scared to be alone and lose his wife and family. He is back in an inpatient program, by his choice, not mine. Never imagined we would be doing dysfunction again !! I did so well for many years, living a great life regardless of his sobriety. But this time, it has hit hard.....lots of fear about him returning to the house again. One day at a time. I will go get some cookies, and do what I want to do tomm. A reminder, that I am not in control of anyone but myself !! Put on a smile, and remember it's no one's life but my own.
Michelle, This truly is your calling, and I thank you for every word you write. I hope you know how many people you have helped including me. One of the things I am so grateful for is you turning around my thinking so I am not destroyed over his behavior. I'm disconnected but still love. Protecting myself adding guideline to his behavior has been a life savor. My daughter is going through the same thing with her Husband. I have shared this Love Over addiction with her and hope she follows you. I can not express how blessed I am to have found you on a Pod Cast one day walking. God is GOOD! Please Please Please continue on this journey. You are very much loved by all who follow you.
Thank you Michelle for allowing us to vent here! We share the same sorrow and it helps us all to communicate with each other. Living with an addict is a very lonely journey others don’t understand! We love you for helping us share our misery!
Oh Candace. I wish you and your son were here! I’d wrap you in a warm blanket! We need to bond together to get rid of this damn demon who took our souls! We deserve so much more than this! I hope god is watching over you this year. Bless you for hanging on🙏
Thank you for this! Last year at this time, my ex and I were at the end of our life as a married couple. Our divorce was finalized on our son's birthday in December. He continued to live in my house (I had to buy him out and basically double my mortgage) until I paid him over 60k. 😔 Last Christmas, he was still in our home in the basement. I felt like a hostage. We were divorced and yet I would hear him come in all hours through the basement door...one night in early January, he had a fire burning in my yard, left it there, and the yard caught fire. I had to go out at 930p in my pajamas with a water hose to put it out. It was awful. He finally moved in late January to another city 2 hours away. Every month, our life has improved. I have been looking forward to celebrating with my son on our own this year...Thanksgiving, Birthday, and Christmas. It's a process, and I fall apart sometimes. I wish he would have cared enough about us to stop using and get well. I quickly snap back to reality though that life was traumatic for my son and I for many years, and a sober man wouldn't have fixed all the abuse we endured. My prayers are simple: to everyone reading this that is still in the throws of loving an addict...you will be okay if you leave. Do what's best for you and your children. If you need to wait, do what you need to. Protect your babies. Protect yourself. Love yourself enough to say no more. It's challenging, but the other side of the tunnel is bright and beautiful!!
I've been married to an alcoholic for 17 years. I'm realizing I need to take care of myself. I have taken care of him and his kids (my step kids that I love very much) and mine felt on the back burner. They are all adults now. I have a huge co-dependency issue. Memories of trauma have been flooding my brain lately. He drinks every single day. He e doesn't get wasted as much like he use to but I'm so sick of smelling it. When he goes to church with me, I smell it. I think, "At least he is at church." I do ask myself, "Is he ever going to change and if he does, will he be a nice sober guy?" He is so talkative when he has had a few. Very quiet and just scroll's on his phone when sober.
We completely understand you Sarah. We are your people 🥰
Same here, but with out church LOL! The health will go and all we can do is sit and watch. Take care of yourself!!!
Hi Michelle
One year ago I began listening to your podcast “Love Over Addiction” and it gave me the strength to finally tell my alcoholic ex bf to leave our home, after a 6 1/2 year roller coaster ride. This past year has had many rough patches, but also a lot of healing. I recently let him back into my life, to help him with a warrant (for being drunk in public & not attending the hearing), and quickly realized I had made a huge mistake & asked him to leave again. I noticed from my growth that I was able to see him more clearly and I feel I now have the strength to no longer fall for his manipulation tactics. So…thank you Michelle Anderson for your wonderful & encouraging words of wisdom. You have literally saved me from a life of ongoing confusion & despair.
This is such a beautiful story. I love every word and am so darn proud of you!! 👏🏻 ⭐️
I am looking forward to hearing from you when you get things figured out for LOA. I have missed you and the way you could always empower me and make me feel strong enough to stand up against this powerful and baffling desease.
Missed you too ❤️
I will also make myself cookies💕
Love this for us, Laurie:)
Thank you Michelle! Your words and wisdom have inspired me to be in control of my own happiness! Last year was extremely sad and I’m hanging on hoping this year will be better! He’s been clean since maybe September. Not really sure but I know the demon too well so I know when he’s present. I have my plan B in case things go bad! Prayers & Blessings to you and your children. Please pray the demon stays away!
Good for you for having a Plan B 💪🏻
Praying for you because a tease of sobriety wrecks your heart
Praying. 🙏
Hello Michelle!! I was just thinking of you today and thought I would let you know that I hope you are doing well. I recently looked to see if there were any new podcasts posted and since I didn’t see any I thought I would reach out through here. Cant wait to see what new ‘program’ or group you are planning. No pressure but wanted to know many of us think of you often!
Hi Dawn,
Thank you for thinking of me. 💕 I’m working hard every day. Rebuilding and planning something that will (hopefully) be a safe community with lots of helpful answers. A little different than Substack and the Podcast. I’ll definitely let you all know. Can’t wait to connect with everyone again. Miss you all.
Hello Michelle - I have tried several times to respond to your individual message, however, for some reason Substack isn’t letting it go through. I would like to send you my email address if you can tell me how to get that sent to you privately. Thanks!
Thank you for posting this! I really needed to hear this. My personal favorite is frozen Oreos--they will come in handy this holiday season.
Ohhhh I’m going to try!!!
2024 will be the first holidays being single, ever! The divorce will be final on December 9th. Ironically just 9 days from what would have been our 15 year anniversary. I’ve went no contact otherwise my HF ExAH will do everything & anything within his power to manipulate his way back. I’m going to continue to choose to focus on being grateful for the wonderful blessings in my life instead of dwelling on the past. I deserve this healing journey after putting it off for so long. It’s finally time for me! It won’t always be easy, but absolutely necessary.
Thank you so much Michele for giving us a safe place to turn for hope! I pray you and your family have a wonderful Thanksgiving and Christmas/Holidays! Looking forward to seeing the next encouraging article or podcast. Any pointers for me would be appreciated because my desire is to also help other women be empowered and encouraged through my experiences one day whether it be on social media or writing. ❤️
I am soo happy for you April - it’s your time now - YES!! 💯 I’ll have some opportunities for women to help others coming up in 2025. You can email me at michelle@loveoveraddiction.com and I’ll make sure to reach out. 🥰
Thank you for this. 🥺 I’ll be baking tonight 💕
Ah the holidays, the dreaded holidays. I just brought my AH home from the hospital again ( he missed thanksgiving, again) with pancreatitis, and what does he do. Yup starts sneaking drinks again. I don't know why I don't leave, probably guilt. I am greatful that I found Michelle years ago it has really helped me to stay sain. Thank you to all the women who share their stories of hope and those who can relate to my situation. I'm really hopeful that 2025 is my year.
You are a blessing to all the woman who suffer from living with an addict. It’s a lonely battle that makes us feel like we are stupid for staying with this person. So many friends/family don’t understand why we don’t leave but yet offer no help! Leaving means giving up your home and for me major financial impact. I can’t even afford an apartment in today’s world. If there were an easy road out we all would have taken it! Bless you all my friends for sharing your stories and I hope each and every one of you find some joy in this holiday season! I wish you all happiness that you so deserve. 🙏
Yes, I can leave or stay and buy him out of the house for a mere 200 grand...I can get peace, and he gets 300 grand.
I sit here as another holiday screams disappointment again..After 5 mos of sobriety, and a small glimmer of hope for a future, the tidal wave washed over again and knocked him down hard. Drinking again. Behavior changed. And I left. I think for the first time ever, he was scared to be alone and lose his wife and family. He is back in an inpatient program, by his choice, not mine. Never imagined we would be doing dysfunction again !! I did so well for many years, living a great life regardless of his sobriety. But this time, it has hit hard.....lots of fear about him returning to the house again. One day at a time. I will go get some cookies, and do what I want to do tomm. A reminder, that I am not in control of anyone but myself !! Put on a smile, and remember it's no one's life but my own.
Michelle, This truly is your calling, and I thank you for every word you write. I hope you know how many people you have helped including me. One of the things I am so grateful for is you turning around my thinking so I am not destroyed over his behavior. I'm disconnected but still love. Protecting myself adding guideline to his behavior has been a life savor. My daughter is going through the same thing with her Husband. I have shared this Love Over addiction with her and hope she follows you. I can not express how blessed I am to have found you on a Pod Cast one day walking. God is GOOD! Please Please Please continue on this journey. You are very much loved by all who follow you.
Thank you Michelle for allowing us to vent here! We share the same sorrow and it helps us all to communicate with each other. Living with an addict is a very lonely journey others don’t understand! We love you for helping us share our misery!
Oh Candace. I wish you and your son were here! I’d wrap you in a warm blanket! We need to bond together to get rid of this damn demon who took our souls! We deserve so much more than this! I hope god is watching over you this year. Bless you for hanging on🙏