Valentine's Day AND Super Bowl Sunday? Ugh.

House and Garden

It's almost time for Valentine's Day and Super Bowl Sunday (in America). One holiday can leave us feeling disappointed and unloved, wondering, "Why don't they love me enough?" We see the commercials for Valentine's Day with loving couples, chocolates, and flowers, but that's usually not our reality. We live in a different world. A world where love is unreliable. Where love hurts. And when they reach for the drinks, drugs, or whatever else is distracting them from getting healthy, we feel rejected over and over.

Then there's Super Bowl Sunday, which often serves as an excuse to crack open a beer (or six), wear a jersey, and party with "friends." Grown-ups getting wasted and cheering loudly for "their" team. I began to hate sports because I knew every game was just an excuse to partake in behavior that was destroying our family.

Because we all might be feeling emotionally exhausted, I'll make it quick; here are three tips to help get us through the month of February:

1. Leave Them: If we plan on attending a party and they have too much to drink or get wasted – it's o.k. to leave. No need to make a big scene (remember to keep your dignity and grace). Just ask a friend for a ride home or quietly call a cab, Lyft, or Uber. I have done both, and once I was in the car and driving away, I was so glad I left. Our partners will find a way home. They are not our problems to take care of. Since they choose to partake in their substance of choice today, it's healthy for them to have the natural consequences that come with those poor choices.

2. No Babysitting: we are NOT their mothers. There is no need to monitor how much, how often, or what they are consuming. For the next 24 hours - try not to keep track of anything. Let them make their choices, and we can empower ourselves by staying in our lanes and making our own healthy choices. We are independent women in charge of our own lives, and we're putting our mental and physical health first and not worrying about our partners.

3. Let's Take Care of OURSELVES:  If we are tired, let's take a nap. If we don't want to take care of chores … let's not. Take a break. Relax. Nobody is going to give us permission to rest. When we are running on empty, it's easy to get stuck in a place of resentment – let's stop to fill up our tanks.

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This is a stressful time of year, and it's so important to be gentle with ourselves. I love hearing from you. Let's support one another during this time of year and leave a comment.