I never felt lonelier or more of a mess than at holidays while loving someone suffering from addiction. I have kept it super simple today with one helpful trick to try.
I want to thank you for the "bubble". 20 + years of dodging the bubble was enough for me and that bubble needed to leave. Your program and words helped me realize I was in a losing battle and my life was just, almost completely gone from any resemblance of who I was before. I removed the bubble and my life is coming back. Each person dealing with a bubble has their own choices to make and life to lead and I truly pray for all who deal with a bubble.
I bought my dog & I a splash pad to get out of the bubble. Being outdoors is a relief for me. Now only if the weather here would cooperate! I cannot tell you what a safe haven this is for me! So happy to be here with all of you sisters.
This is great advice. The only problem is a lot of times when I stay out of his bubble, he gets upset with me because I am distant or “getting things done” instead of paying attention to him and I’m sure he knows by now why I don’t want to be around him when he’s had too much to drink. He makes me out to be such a bad person and all I’m doing is protecting myself so I can have some peace.
They will never see what’s actually wrong from our perspective. We’ve had several family gatherings lately and because I won’t say anything in front of our family, he goes overboard with the drinking. We got a pool in the backyard for the grandkids and he brings his beer in with him!
I just recently let him come home, because he said that he was doing better and he seemed better but he’s not fully recovered. Obviously, he’s comfortable again and drinking again and just hiding it more when he goes to the bar. Any advice at all would be appreciated on what to do from here because I feel like I’m just stuck in this now until the end whatever that may be. If it wasn’t for these supportive groups and God, and my very loving, patient (although sometimes judgmental) family I couldn’t make it through some days.
I always felt I was the only person who dreaded holidays (actually any social functions). I have lost track at the number of times I was humiliated by being with the drunkest person (my AH) at social gatherings. Thank you for your podcast and newsletters. I have learned so much from this in a short period of time.
I have our family and son-in-law’ family together for Christmas for 4 days. Problem is my daughter drinking excessively and spoiling the gatherings. She will have her young daughter with her too and they will share a room. Do I serve alcohol for Christmas dinner? (She go out and buy it anyway if I don’t) Where will I put my granddaughter if her mother is very drunk (likely)? So many difficulties managing this gathering. Any suggestions gratefully received. Thank you
My parents are celebrating their 70th birthdays and we are travelling interstate for 5 days with my sisters family. Husband is in a downward spiral and I am dreading the chance of him drinking when we are away. It will destroy me if his ‘secret’ drinking ruins this special time. Finding it super hard to stay in my lane and not massively dread what should be a joyous occasion. Advice on how to handle it? Feeling myself starting to unravel.