Hello. I found “Love Over” as you were taking a break. My husband is 90 days sober and has been working extremely hard on himself. My greatest challenge is that while he has been working on him and moving forward to his better self, he has ignored the “us” and refuses to address his actions towards me or how his addiction has affected me as an individual. I would love some words on how to manage resentment and how to maintain the “we” while they work on themselves.
I am so tired and frustrated from being the support and cheerleader for the source of my own pain and suffering.
You'll find there are many of us who were in your shoes. Some do get the 'closure' of apologies and acknowledgement of the pain they've caused others from their spouse. If he's doing AA, and works the program thoroughly and correctly, you'll definitely get it. If not, you may never hear it. Prayers you're one who hears the words, and prayers for your own strength and peace regardless. 🙏🙏
My ex did this. Through re hab, a private coach, some Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. I was never deemed worthy of caring about. It was never us always him. My pain made me sick. My immune system turned on me to the point I needed to leave to save my life.
Don’t get too tired, too long. This is your one precious life. Your life isn’t owed to him.
❤️ well I’m opening up to friends more now when we catch up with our kids for play dates (I have a 4 year old and 4 month old). That’s definitely helping heal my heart a bit while sharing the mum burden. Nevertheless it’s been challenging filtering the truest of friends so that discussions are able to be non judgemental and just a sounding board.
I am so happy to hear your (writing) voice. I missed your words and honesty so much. It was pretty much impossible to find another figure with the sincerity and candor you bring to the table. I’m also not a fan of “branding” and feels disingenuous to me. My students were trying to convince me to become a TikTok teacher and I was like “Um, that sounds like my personal hell.” The simpler the better I say! I look forward to hearing from you and the other members who always inspired me and made me feel hope. I think it’s wonderful you’re sharing your struggles as well. We’re all struggling for different reasons and trying to pretend everything is perfect is a stress that a lot of people are carrying unnecessarily.
Thank you for coming back to us. I still tear up remembering the first time I read the simple words “welcome sister”. Michelle, whatever you are going through we are here for you. The impact, the positive impact, you made in all of our lives continues to ripple through the universe. Welcome BACK sister! ❤️
Michelle, I teared up when I saw your email this morning. Since the end of LOA, I have been hoping you’ve been well and getting the rest you needed. I’m glad you found a place for your words-- without the social media pressure. The world needs them. I’m not sure how much I’ll be reading, as I left the group before it closed down. I’m long out of my abusive relationship with the man who was addicted to alcohol and control/chaos. It’s nice to know there’s a place for us to connect when we need it though. THANK YOU. For everything. Your voice and teaching helped me through one of the darkest periods of my life. I’m so very glad I found you and that you made a mission to help us navigate some rough, shameful, painful waters.
I couldn’t agree more .. LOA gave me so much strength at a moment in my life when I truly felt I was going mad . I am eternally grateful for you Michelle and send you love for whatever struggles you are dealing with xx
I am so happy to see (read) you again! You were the first place I turned to when I realized my life was being controlled by addiction and Iook forward to reading the new blog.
I am really struggling with body image at the moment. Three long years of stress has caught up to me and I'm in a place physically that I never thought I'd get to. Any discussion about this topic would be helpful. Thank you and welcome back!
Welcome back Michelle. I have been here with you almost from the beginning and I had you in my earphones as my drunk husband would rant around me. I recommend you to everyone. So I’m grateful for your new platform and how you are navigating this crazy communications world. 😘
So happy you are back! You are my daily companion on my way to work. Because of your willingness to be honest and vulnerable, I was able to truly listen and take inventory! Without you I would not be were I am today...a much stronger woman with boundaries, that wants to thrive and live and not survive on crumbs alone. Can't wait to "see" you.
So happy you’re back and we’ve reconnected! You don’t realize how much influence you have had...which inadvertently makes you an influencer ;)
What to talk about? Literally anything. Co-parenting with a narcissist, effectively getting what you want in a divorce, how to focus on yourself, self care, breaking bad habits (not related to addiction), picking up a new hobby, etc. The list is literally endless.
SO happy you’re back! I first found you on Facebook and then your podcast on Spotify.
Does anyone have advice if your loved one not only deals with addiction, but mental health and suicidal tendencies? Even though I’ve been divorced over 5 years, I still take on the role of a partner. I am working on letting go of the underlying fear that if I stop he will die. There are a lot of trauma bonds between us and codependency. Just wondering if anyone has any experience and support🤍
Hi Michelle, you have been missed! You have an amazing gift of comforting others, sharing wisdom and keeping those of us who love someone with an addiction from feeling insane. I pray you are doing well and am thankful for this safe platform. In the past, your podcast and the program got me through some of the worst times. I’m still so unfinished in growing and learning. However, I am better in how I view myself and my relationship to the world around me. I don’t think there are enough “thank you’s” in the world to cover this. Just know that your voice is valuable and needed so very much. I look forward to continuing to grow and having your encouraging words to help me along the way. Much love to you and thrilled to find you again. 💜
Glad to have your voice and insight back!! Looking forward to continuing to learn to love myself again and my codependency along with helping others with the same struggles!! Having a safe space with women with the same struggles is going to be amazing!!
This is so timing as my husband has been sober now for 1 1/2 years. I Found out yesterday that he doesn’t know whether to believe the things I’ve said that he did or not. I’m hurt! He also said he still thinks I watch him and that I’m suspicious. His health now isn’t what it was so I am more concerned about that and am just making sure sometimes that he is ok. Not overly done! I thought we were past all this. Glad you are back.
Aww Janet! It must be hard for an addict to face such embarrassing, shameful things that they’ve done. But that is part of the recovery process, eh? I hope one day he believes you and can look his shadow in the mirror. Big hugs, LOA sister.
Hey- there’s a GREAT topic for my household. Health issues of the addict- mine was young, strong and healthy once and addiction has made him ignore chronic issues like... too many for this post. Watching this happen has really ruined my nerves knowing if i stayed it would be me turning into a senior aid checking he’s taking his non- opioid Rxes, his sugar level, calling 911 when he falls or overdoses.
I was so happy when I got your email this morning that you're back! I am now divorced but your podcasts helped guide me tremendously through my decision to leave my marriage. Now divorced, I am working on finding my true self and looking at ways I played a part of the addiction chaos. I recently started reading the book "Women Who Love Too Much" which is an eye opener. Whatever you are struggling with, we are all here for you just as you have been for us all these years. I'm looking forward to the discussions and articles on this platform 💗
Hello. I found “Love Over” as you were taking a break. My husband is 90 days sober and has been working extremely hard on himself. My greatest challenge is that while he has been working on him and moving forward to his better self, he has ignored the “us” and refuses to address his actions towards me or how his addiction has affected me as an individual. I would love some words on how to manage resentment and how to maintain the “we” while they work on themselves.
I am so tired and frustrated from being the support and cheerleader for the source of my own pain and suffering.
You'll find there are many of us who were in your shoes. Some do get the 'closure' of apologies and acknowledgement of the pain they've caused others from their spouse. If he's doing AA, and works the program thoroughly and correctly, you'll definitely get it. If not, you may never hear it. Prayers you're one who hears the words, and prayers for your own strength and peace regardless. 🙏🙏
Awh, Rebecca. I hope one day soon he has the strength to face himself and the pain he’s caused you and your relationship. Big hugs, LOA sister.
My ex did this. Through re hab, a private coach, some Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. I was never deemed worthy of caring about. It was never us always him. My pain made me sick. My immune system turned on me to the point I needed to leave to save my life.
Don’t get too tired, too long. This is your one precious life. Your life isn’t owed to him.
Can you still buy the program do you know?!!
❤️ well I’m opening up to friends more now when we catch up with our kids for play dates (I have a 4 year old and 4 month old). That’s definitely helping heal my heart a bit while sharing the mum burden. Nevertheless it’s been challenging filtering the truest of friends so that discussions are able to be non judgemental and just a sounding board.
I agree with what you said, it's impossible to rewire your brain at the snap of your fingers.
I am so happy to hear your (writing) voice. I missed your words and honesty so much. It was pretty much impossible to find another figure with the sincerity and candor you bring to the table. I’m also not a fan of “branding” and feels disingenuous to me. My students were trying to convince me to become a TikTok teacher and I was like “Um, that sounds like my personal hell.” The simpler the better I say! I look forward to hearing from you and the other members who always inspired me and made me feel hope. I think it’s wonderful you’re sharing your struggles as well. We’re all struggling for different reasons and trying to pretend everything is perfect is a stress that a lot of people are carrying unnecessarily.
So glad to see Love Over in my inbox! Welcome back we've missed you, and thank you for being true to you, because it's you we love!
Thank you for coming back to us. I still tear up remembering the first time I read the simple words “welcome sister”. Michelle, whatever you are going through we are here for you. The impact, the positive impact, you made in all of our lives continues to ripple through the universe. Welcome BACK sister! ❤️
Michelle, I teared up when I saw your email this morning. Since the end of LOA, I have been hoping you’ve been well and getting the rest you needed. I’m glad you found a place for your words-- without the social media pressure. The world needs them. I’m not sure how much I’ll be reading, as I left the group before it closed down. I’m long out of my abusive relationship with the man who was addicted to alcohol and control/chaos. It’s nice to know there’s a place for us to connect when we need it though. THANK YOU. For everything. Your voice and teaching helped me through one of the darkest periods of my life. I’m so very glad I found you and that you made a mission to help us navigate some rough, shameful, painful waters.
I couldn’t agree more .. LOA gave me so much strength at a moment in my life when I truly felt I was going mad . I am eternally grateful for you Michelle and send you love for whatever struggles you are dealing with xx
I think exactly the same. Michelle helps us so much, her letters are like a ray of light in the darkness during hard times in my life.
I am so happy to see (read) you again! You were the first place I turned to when I realized my life was being controlled by addiction and Iook forward to reading the new blog.
I am really struggling with body image at the moment. Three long years of stress has caught up to me and I'm in a place physically that I never thought I'd get to. Any discussion about this topic would be helpful. Thank you and welcome back!
Welcome back Michelle. I have been here with you almost from the beginning and I had you in my earphones as my drunk husband would rant around me. I recommend you to everyone. So I’m grateful for your new platform and how you are navigating this crazy communications world. 😘
So happy you are back! You are my daily companion on my way to work. Because of your willingness to be honest and vulnerable, I was able to truly listen and take inventory! Without you I would not be were I am today...a much stronger woman with boundaries, that wants to thrive and live and not survive on crumbs alone. Can't wait to "see" you.
We need your voice. Thank you for coming back!
So happy you’re back and we’ve reconnected! You don’t realize how much influence you have had...which inadvertently makes you an influencer ;)
What to talk about? Literally anything. Co-parenting with a narcissist, effectively getting what you want in a divorce, how to focus on yourself, self care, breaking bad habits (not related to addiction), picking up a new hobby, etc. The list is literally endless.
SO happy you’re back! I first found you on Facebook and then your podcast on Spotify.
Does anyone have advice if your loved one not only deals with addiction, but mental health and suicidal tendencies? Even though I’ve been divorced over 5 years, I still take on the role of a partner. I am working on letting go of the underlying fear that if I stop he will die. There are a lot of trauma bonds between us and codependency. Just wondering if anyone has any experience and support🤍
Hi Michelle, you have been missed! You have an amazing gift of comforting others, sharing wisdom and keeping those of us who love someone with an addiction from feeling insane. I pray you are doing well and am thankful for this safe platform. In the past, your podcast and the program got me through some of the worst times. I’m still so unfinished in growing and learning. However, I am better in how I view myself and my relationship to the world around me. I don’t think there are enough “thank you’s” in the world to cover this. Just know that your voice is valuable and needed so very much. I look forward to continuing to grow and having your encouraging words to help me along the way. Much love to you and thrilled to find you again. 💜
Julie - I so appreciate the encouragement. Truly 💕 and for what it’s worth I’m still growing and learning too. 😊
Glad to have your voice and insight back!! Looking forward to continuing to learn to love myself again and my codependency along with helping others with the same struggles!! Having a safe space with women with the same struggles is going to be amazing!!
This is so timing as my husband has been sober now for 1 1/2 years. I Found out yesterday that he doesn’t know whether to believe the things I’ve said that he did or not. I’m hurt! He also said he still thinks I watch him and that I’m suspicious. His health now isn’t what it was so I am more concerned about that and am just making sure sometimes that he is ok. Not overly done! I thought we were past all this. Glad you are back.
Aww Janet! It must be hard for an addict to face such embarrassing, shameful things that they’ve done. But that is part of the recovery process, eh? I hope one day he believes you and can look his shadow in the mirror. Big hugs, LOA sister.
Thank you
Hey- there’s a GREAT topic for my household. Health issues of the addict- mine was young, strong and healthy once and addiction has made him ignore chronic issues like... too many for this post. Watching this happen has really ruined my nerves knowing if i stayed it would be me turning into a senior aid checking he’s taking his non- opioid Rxes, his sugar level, calling 911 when he falls or overdoses.
Welcome back Michelle!! I’ve been hoping you’d find a new platform for your wisdom.💕
I was so happy when I got your email this morning that you're back! I am now divorced but your podcasts helped guide me tremendously through my decision to leave my marriage. Now divorced, I am working on finding my true self and looking at ways I played a part of the addiction chaos. I recently started reading the book "Women Who Love Too Much" which is an eye opener. Whatever you are struggling with, we are all here for you just as you have been for us all these years. I'm looking forward to the discussions and articles on this platform 💗