3 Things Your Partner Won't Tell You
Addiction thrives on secrets. Today, you'll learn three of the biggest secrets addiction does not want you to know - because knowing them - means we get to stop falling for the lies of this disease.
I am so thankful you’re sharing this newsletter with other people who need help. I don’t do any marketing or partnerships. Your referrals are how we are going to reach other women. Thanks for sharing:)
You love a good man or woman who drinks too much or suffers from addiction.
This disease is cunning and secretive. You need to know some things that addiction will never share with you. They are important things that could change your life and how you feel about yourself.
Top 3 things addiction does not what you to know:
It's not your fault.
Your loved one's disease is why your life feels more difficult than most. The difficulty is not about you and not because of you. You're lovely. You're a wonderful gift that is not being appreciated. Don't leave your self-worth in the hands of someone who is sick. The addiction is not your fault.
It's not your job to get your partner better.
Stay in your own lane. Your efforts will only help if he or she wants them to. Spend your time and energy on self-care instead of thinking about ways to help them. The more you try to help, the more you rob your loved one of the victory they will feel when they help themselves.
Your loved one knows they're out of control.
Your loved one might deny they're addicted for self-preservation, but they know. They just put on a really good act. You don't need to try and convince them. All the "proof" or "lectures" (said out of love) can cause them to get even more defensive. The more you try to get them to admit they have an issue, the more they will deny they have one. Let it go. You know they have an issue, and if your partner was being honest, they would acknowledge it too. The things that keep you healthy and happy deserve your attention.
P.S. I’d love for you to introduce yourself and share a little about how you’re feeling while navigating your relationship with your loved one.
I’m a Love Over Addiction alumna forever grateful for and living out what I learned in that program. Husband still drinks but my life is going well. I enjoy his dry days and hold my drinking related boundaries on his wet days, but overall I no longer look to husband’s state of being to dictate how I will feel. 😀 Thank you, Michelle.
I am Rachel...my husband of 11 years(today) and I just separated less than a week ago. We have 2 sons, ages 5 and 8. We are currently taking turns staying at the house with the boys, making a schedule with the kids. I have been putting in the work while he has not. I got pushed to it being enough last week after finding something in his work bag and him getting hammered again, plus after being told multiple times drunk and sober, “I’m done, leave me, divorce, etc”. So I made the steps. We’re going to therapy together next week where I plan to ask and bring up infidelity. I feel sick all the time and my guilt has me torn in half. Your episodes of your podcast has helped me tremendously lately. I have to keep thinking, this is for my family and my boys.